If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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