she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
