he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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