i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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