I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
