she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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