When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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