the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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