Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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