I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
