You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
