You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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