Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
