Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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