mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Still dying that you shit outside
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
