Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
