If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
