i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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