so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
