weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Found the puke drawer
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
