weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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