Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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