i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
