Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
