I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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