I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Boobs speak an international language.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
