Define "chronic" masturbator.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Randomize
