she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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