i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
you made out with another girl for some wings
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
