that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
sex in a hospital.. check
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
