Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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