I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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