try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
