you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize