I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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