I heard we made out
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
