saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
