Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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