Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
