But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize