You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
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