Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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