you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
