wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
