It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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