wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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