It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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