How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
