he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
