I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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