I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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