Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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