I'm gonna have a badass scar
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
