just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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