i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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