Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
