Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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