i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
