Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
