Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
