maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
