sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
