I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
