So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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