Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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