i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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